The Marketer’s New Clothes

What follows is a cautionary tale about social marketing …

by Peter Kim from Being Peter Kim

Not too long ago there was a marketer, who was obsessively focused on “the next big thing” and spent a great deal of his budget on the latest fads; his only ambition was to be written up in Ad Age and Brandweek. He did not care for sales spreadsheets and customer databases did not interest him; the only thing that really interested him was to focus on the next brand campaign.

The industry in which he worked was very social and every day many new agencies from around the world gave him a call. One day an agency came calling and let everyone know they were social media gurus and could build the best campaign anyone had ever dreamed of. Moreover, these campaigns used social media and people who questioned their value were clearly not meant to be in marketing or management.

“I need to get me one of those,” thought the marketer. “If I can shift my budget out of traditional channels and get my customers to start selling to each other through viral marketing, I’ll be a hero.”

And he awarded a huge project in advance to the gurus so they could get started right away. They set up a Twitter account and a Facebook group and seemed to be hard at work. They asked for an espresso machine and gluten-free snacks to keep them going and found users to follow and friend late into the night.

“I wonder how the campaign is coming along,” thought the marketer. But he felt a bit nervous when he remembered that people who weren’t qualified to be marketers wouldn’t “get it.” Personally, he thought he was in the know, but thought it’d be a good idea to test someone else instead.

“I’ll send my direct marketing specialist to see the gurus,” thought the marketer. “She’s a no-nonsense professional and knows how campaigns work.”

The direct marketer went into the conference room where the gurus sat surfing away on their netbooks. “OMG!” she thought and opened her eyes wide, “This all looks like spam to me,” but she did not say so. The gurus asked her to click around a bit more and asked if she could see the authority and influence that would be created. The marketer tried her best but couldn’t determine where any value existed. “Oh dear,” she thought, “what am I missing? I must be too old to understand! No, I can’t let anyone say I don’t get it.”

“What do you think?” said one of the gurus, while he clicked on a profile picture.

“Oh, we are certainly innovating here,” replied the direct marketer. “I’ll tell my boss that we are really driving the engagement with these initiatives.”

Now the gurus asked for more money, which they required for HD Flip cams, Bluetooth headsets, and an iPhone app, which they would need to take the campaign to the next level. They used these for their personal blogs, but they continued to chat with people through the Twitter account and on the Facebook group wall.

Soon afterwards, the marketer sent his web analytics guy to see the gurus and ask if the campaign would be ready for launch soon. Like the direct marketer, he couldn’t find any direct connection to value, either.

“Isn’t this a real early adopter methodology?” asked the gurus, showing screengrabs of the social media accounts.

“I’m from the digital world,” said the web analytics guy. “So it’s strange that I’m not getting it and I can’t let anyone know.” He told the gurus that the developing campaign was “killer.” “Definitely cutting edge,” he told the marketing chief.

Everyone in the department talked about the campaign and finally the marketer wanted a walkthrough himself, while it was still in beta. With his team, including the two who had seen the campaign at earlier stages, they went to visit the gurus.

“Isn’t it great?” said the two marketing specialists who had been there before. “You can see where customers will talk to us and we will be able to listen.” And they moused over the @username section of the site.

“WTF?” thought the marketer, “I don’t get it. Am I just a pointy haired boss? Do I still have what it takes to be a marketer in the 21st century?”

“Seriously,” he said to the gurus, “this will win us a lion, pencil, and a webby.” And the marketer’s entire department nodded their heads and advised him to shift his entire budget out of traditional channels in advance of a new product launch that was soon to take place. The gurus were put on retainer, made agency of record, and appointed “social media experts.”

The week leading up to the campaign and product launch, the gurus pulled several all-nighters, going through a case of Red Bull. People should see that they were having a sprint to the finish. They finally stepped away from their computers and sighed, “the campaign is ready for launch.”

The marketer and his entire department gathered in the boardroom; the gurus clicked through sites and said: “This is the YouTube account!” “This is the influencer outreach program!” and “Here are the Google Alerts!” and so on. “They are built on real customer relationships that could never have been created before; that’s the beauty of social media.”

“+1!” said the marketing department; but they really didn’t know what was going on.

“Are you ready to set these accounts to live,” said the gurus, “so we can start building your personal brand and speaking with customers?”

“Let’s do it,” said the marketer. “Aren’t these social media accounts so authentic?”

The department, who felt compelled to participate, had a dozen pre-drafted, legal-approved messages to post online in the different forums. The bloggers who received campaign-related swag from the company wrote flattering posts about the brand and its forward thinking nature. Nobody wished to post a negative comment, for then they might lose subscribers and followers. Never was a campaign more admired.

“But what’s the ROI?” wondered an intern aloud. The question, unpopular at first, soon became widely asked. The gurus attempted to dismiss this by claiming that anyone asking the question didn’t get it. “But what’s the ROI?” repeated the senior management team, in unison.

That made a deep impression upon the marketer, for it seemed that he should know the answer, but the thought to himself, “I just need to ride this out so I can jump to my next gig.” And the department participated even more fervently as they kept launching what they believed to be a consistently clear signal into the noise of multiple social media channels.


Leave a comment

Filed under Socialnomics 101

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s